Funnies

Well, okay, these are not mine. I just gather them from all over. This first one for example comes from my friend, Avri. Check out his blog for a good kick (see link above)!

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside and said:
“It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid.”
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said:
“When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here.”

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost
my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first
replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get
married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was
excellent.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar
tender here?"

"Where do kings keep their armies?"
"In their sleevies."